Hold My Beer
The world's most important cloud infrastructure for situational beverage management™
Why You Need Beer Cloud™
Watch This
About to do something incredibly stupid? Upload your beer to the cloud first. We'll hold it while you prove a point to everyone at the party.
Maximum Hands-Free
Need both hands? Arm wrestle? Backflip? Argue with a stranger? Store up to 12 virtual beers simultaneously with our Pro plan.
99.9% Uptime
Your beer is safe in our distributed, multi-region, fault-tolerant cloud. It's still cold. We think. We're not sure how that works.
Beer Sharing
Share your cloud beer with friends. They can hold YOUR beer while you hold THEIR beer. Finally, enterprise-grade mutual beer holding.
Analytics Dashboard
Track how many times per day you say "hold my beer." Spoiler: it's more than you think and your family is worried about you.
Beer Security
End-to-end encrypted beer storage. Nobody can drink your beer without your password. Not even our engineers. Especially not Dave.
Upload Your Beer
🍺 → ☁️
Drag your beer into the cloud. Or click. We're not picky.
What People Are Saying
I uploaded my beer before attempting to jump a shopping cart on my skateboard. The beer was waiting for me in the cloud when I got back from the ER. 10/10.
I said "hold my beer" to my coworker but he just looked confused. Now I use holdmybeer.cloud and he still looks confused but at least my Modelo is safe.
AWS has S3 for files. Azure has Blob Storage. We finally have somewhere to put the most important thing of all: a cold one.
My therapist asked what I use the cloud for. I said "holding beer." She ended the session early. Best appointment I've ever had.
Frequently Asked Questions
Simple Pricing
Free Tier
Hold 1 beer at a time. Perfect for people who only do one dumb thing per day. 1GB beer storage. No SLA. Good luck.
$0/mo
Hold My Beer Pro
Hold unlimited beers. Priority foam preservation. Access to Gerald (our bouncer). Dedicated beer sommelier support. Custom domain: yourname.holdmybeer.cloud
One case of Modelo/mo